Before You Mediate Your Divorce

At a recent meeting between family law judges andthe dominant spouse's employment information,
family law attorneys in Mercer County, it waswhich includes information relating to the dominant
announced that the number of divorce cases filed inspouse's salary, bonus(es), perquisites, stock options
Mercer County had increased by roughly 7% overand deferred compensation accounts? And in the
the last year. So while recent reports have theevent the dependent spouse does not pay the
percentage of divorcing couples decreasing, thehousehold bills, does he or she have a good idea of
actual number of divorces is not decreasing, at leasthow much the parties actually spent on a monthly
not locally.basis, including their housing, transportation and
One way that the courts in New Jersey havepersonal expenses, such as food, clothing, etc.?
decided to deal with the increasing volume of divorceEven assuming the dependent spouse has an
cases is to encourage those filing for divorce to utilizeaccurate financial picture, however, the dependent
methods of alternative dispute resolution - such asspouse also needs to know what to do with that
mediation and arbitration - in the hopes of limitinginformation. How much should he or she expect in
those cases that must actually go to trial. In theory,terms of alimony? Child support? Property
the "push" for mediation and arbitration is a gooddistribution? Most times, there is not just one right
idea. In theory, everybody wins - the courts get toanswer. The outcome depends on various factors,
decrease their divorce backlog while the parties getincluding the length of the marriage, the marital
to save on legal fees and to part ways on their ownstandard of living, the age and health of any children
terms.and each party, etc.
In practice, however, a spouse who elects toSo why not just rely upon the recommendation of
proceed with any method of alternative disputethe mediator or arbitrator with respect to these
resolution, be it arbitration or mediation, withoutissues? Because, while the mediator or arbitrator is
knowing his or her legal rights faces real financial risk.typically an attorney with a solid foundation in family
If a party does not know what he or she is legallylaw, he or she is not an advocate. He or she is there
entitled to receive in terms of support or theto facilitate a settlement - not to represent anyone's
distribution of assets, then how does that partybest interests.
know whether he or she is getting a fair deal?It is therefore especially important for the dependent
The most vulnerable party is usually the financiallyspouse to research his or her legal rights - either by
dependent spouse since the financially dominantconsulting with an attorney or at the very least
spouse tends to oversee the family's finances and toconsulting the Internet and other available
have a better handle on the parties' accounts andinformational resources - before attending any
assets. The dependent spouse may be responsiblemediation or arbitration session. Only then will the
for paying the household bills on a monthly basis - butdependent spouse know what questions to ask,
does he or she have access let alone control overwhat information and/or documents to secure from
more sophisticated accounts, such as brokerage ortheir spouse, and what to reasonably expect (and
retirement accounts? Does he or she have access toindeed, demand) in terms of a fair and just outcome.