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Before You Mediate Your Divorce

At a recent meeting between family law judgesspouse's employment information, which
and family law attorneys in Mercer County, itincludes information relating to the dominant
was announced that the number of divorcespouse's salary, bonus(es), perquisites,
cases filed in Mercer County had increased bystock options and deferred compensation
roughly 7% over the last year. So whileaccounts? And in the event the dependent
recent reports have the percentage ofspouse does not pay the household bills, does
divorcing couples decreasing, the actualhe or she have a good idea of how much the
number of divorces is not decreasing, atparties actually spent on a monthly basis,
least  not  locally.including their housing, transportation and
personal expenses, such as food, clothing,
One way that the courts in New Jersey haveetc.?
decided to deal with the increasing volume of
divorce cases is to encourage those filingEven assuming the dependent spouse has an
for divorce to utilize methods of alternativeaccurate financial picture, however, the
dispute resolution - such as mediation anddependent spouse also needs to know what to
arbitration - in the hopes of limiting thosedo with that information. How much should he
cases that must actually go to trial. Inor she expect in terms of alimony? Child
theory, the "push" for mediation andsupport? Property distribution? Most times,
arbitration is a good idea. In theory,there is not just one right answer. The
everybody wins - the courts get to decreaseoutcome depends on various factors, including
their divorce backlog while the parties getthe length of the marriage, the marital
to save on legal fees and to part ways onstandard of living, the age and health of any
their  own  terms.children  and  each  party,  etc.
In practice, however, a spouse who elects toSo why not just rely upon the recommendation
proceed with any method of alternativeof the mediator or arbitrator with respect to
dispute resolution, be it arbitration orthese issues? Because, while the mediator or
mediation, without knowing his or her legalarbitrator is typically an attorney with a
rights faces real financial risk. If a partysolid foundation in family law, he or she is
does not know what he or she is legallynot an advocate. He or she is there to
entitled to receive in terms of support orfacilitate a settlement - not to represent
the distribution of assets, then how doesanyone's  best  interests.
that party know whether he or she is getting
a  fair  deal?It is therefore especially important for the
dependent spouse to research his or her legal
The most vulnerable party is usually therights - either by consulting with an
financially dependent spouse since theattorney or at the very least consulting the
financially dominant spouse tends to overseeInternet and other available informational
the family's finances and to have a betterresources - before attending any mediation or
handle on the parties' accounts and assets.arbitration session. Only then will the
The dependent spouse may be responsible fordependent spouse know what questions to ask,
paying the household bills on a monthly basiswhat information and/or documents to secure
- but does he or she have access let alonefrom their spouse, and what to reasonably
control over more sophisticated accounts,expect (and indeed, demand) in terms of a
such as brokerage or retirement accounts?fair and just outcome.
Does he or she have access to the dominant



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