| Today is certainly a historic day for Northern Ireland | | | | right! MT: What can a Jew do for Northern Ireland |
| as Unionists and Loyalists come together to form a | | | | that nobody else can? RM: All the arguing. I've got |
| single, local government. Will it work? Everyone is | | | | thousands of years of experience in arguing. I even |
| excited and optimistic. I hate to be a stick in the | | | | argue with myself. For example, this morning I |
| mud, but I don't think this is going to last. It's just a | | | | started arguing with myself that this red blouse I'm |
| matter of time before the Protestants and Catholics | | | | wearing makes me look fat. Murray do you think it |
| start bickering again. That is why I once again | | | | makes me look fat. MT: Fat, no. It makes you look a |
| reiterate by long held belief that in order for their to | | | | little pale. I was hoping you would be wearing green. |
| be a long lasting peace in Northern Ireland, the region | | | | So Rosie, would you govern in Irish or in English. I |
| must be ruled by a Jew. And I have just the Jew-my | | | | hear that you can sing all of Air Supply's greatest hits |
| third cousin several continents removed, the very | | | | in both. RM: If I were to sing to you, "I'm all out of |
| Irish Rosie McGoldberg. I am honored to have Rosie | | | | love, I'm so lost with out you…" in Irish right |
| here with me today in our studios. Murray Trillionaire | | | | now, I swear I'd give you spilkes. It's breath-taking. |
| (MT): Rosie, welcome to our studios. Rosie | | | | But when I govern Northern Ireland, pumpkin, I will |
| McGoldberg (RM): Cheerio, top of the morning to you | | | | be speaking in neither English nor Irish. Rosie isn't |
| mate. Hello gorgeous! MT: Would a McGoldberg | | | | taking sides. I'll be talking in sign language. I just |
| government strive to create a united Ireland or keep | | | | recently found out however, that there is an English |
| Northern Ireland as part of The United Kingdom? RM: | | | | sign language and a different Irish sign language. So I'll |
| Neither, darling. They're both just too damn cold. I'm | | | | be speaking in Esperanto sign language. Besides, I |
| going to fight to unite Northern Ireland with Puerto | | | | always say to me fellow Irish, "Fight with your |
| Rico. Murray, you American Jews have Florida. But | | | | words, not with your hands. If we're all talking with |
| where the hell are us Irish Jews supposed to go in | | | | our hands, we can do both at the same time. MT: |
| the middle of winter? I'm tired of freezing me arse | | | | Why do you think a Jew is going to be able to rule |
| off. And besides, I just love that Ricky Martin. MT: | | | | Northern Ireland if neither a Catholic nor a Protestant |
| What do you see as the biggest problem facing | | | | can? RM: Who you kidding, sweetheart! I probably |
| Northern Ireland today? RM: Our pickles. You get fish | | | | can't either. But I'm sure I can unite all the Irish to |
| and chips; it comes with dill pickles. You get | | | | hate me. After me, they'll take anyone. And maybe |
| Shepherd's Pie, there's a side of Cole Slaw and dill | | | | while I'm governing Ireland, Ian Paisley and Martin |
| pickles. It is literally impossible to get a good sour | | | | McGuiness can go run the Middle East. |
| garlic pickle like they have at your Katz Deli. It's not | | | | |