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If you are in a Pinch, Use a Winch

I have lived in the wonderful state of Atlantic for Europe to deal with.
New Jersey for twenty two glorious years. I used to think that way until this past
This meant spending summers at the weekend. I was out with a few friends
shore, drinking cawfee, and considering tearing through the woods on our quads,
Italian food its own food group. This having a blast. It had rained the day
armpit of a state is the home of bad hair before, which made the ground perfect for
cuts and even worse accents. I can doing doughnuts and drifting turns. I
usually stomach the stereotypical flaws started to cruise to a new part of the
of the state, but I can't stand the woods, but it was actually a marsh.
attitude. It's like every kid growing up Unfortunately, I was going pretty fast so
here had a poster of Tony Soprano on his my speed carried me halfway across the
wall instead of Superman or Batman. bog. I tried revving my engine, spinning
While I was busy jumping from trees with my wheels, but not moving an inch. My
a cape around my neck, they were greasing quad is meant for racing, not mud so it
down their scalps with enough hair gel to only has two-wheel drive. My friends
make John Travolta jealous. were all over in another part of the
Certain parts of Jersey don't seem like woods, leaving me stranded, covered in
reality. My high school parking lot mud and frustrated.
looked more like a BMW dealership than a Just when I was about to give up and
public school. You would think it was trudge back through the woods to find my
standard issue for the DMV to hand out friends an older man on a big utility ATV
sets of keys after passing a driver's passed by. "Oh great, now I have to deal
test. I guess our state needed something with this guy giving me a hard time," I
to replace iroqs. It probably doesn't thought. But he pulled up, took off his
help the state's general attitude if helmet and asked if I needed a hand. Did
everyone is driving around in a BMW with my ears deceive me? A Jersian asking to
a gold chair hanging from their neck and help? Well of course I did. He had a
a ring hugging their pinky. Anyway, winch system hooked up to the front of
after years of hearing such comments from his bike. This guy and his son tossed me
wise guys like "What are you looking at?" the cable, which I hooked to my frame,
I started to think that the state was and he pulled me right out. When I
doomed. Maybe our country would be finally made it back to my friends, they
better if it cut off that little state didn't even know I was gone.
and sent it floating off across the




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