| I have lived in the wonderful state of
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| | Atlantic for Europe to deal with.
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| New Jersey for twenty two glorious years.
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| | I used to think that way until this past
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| This meant spending summers at the
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| | weekend. I was out with a few friends
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| shore, drinking cawfee, and considering
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| | tearing through the woods on our quads,
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| Italian food its own food group. This
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| | having a blast. It had rained the day
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| armpit of a state is the home of bad hair
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| | before, which made the ground perfect for
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| cuts and even worse accents. I can
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| | doing doughnuts and drifting turns. I
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| usually stomach the stereotypical flaws
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| | started to cruise to a new part of the
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| of the state, but I can't stand the
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| | woods, but it was actually a marsh.
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| attitude. It's like every kid growing up
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| | Unfortunately, I was going pretty fast so
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| here had a poster of Tony Soprano on his
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| | my speed carried me halfway across the
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| wall instead of Superman or Batman.
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| | bog. I tried revving my engine, spinning
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| While I was busy jumping from trees with
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| | my wheels, but not moving an inch. My
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| a cape around my neck, they were greasing
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| | quad is meant for racing, not mud so it
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| down their scalps with enough hair gel to
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| | only has two-wheel drive. My friends
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| make John Travolta jealous.
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| | were all over in another part of the
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| Certain parts of Jersey don't seem like
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| | woods, leaving me stranded, covered in
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| reality. My high school parking lot
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| | mud and frustrated.
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| looked more like a BMW dealership than a
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| | Just when I was about to give up and
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| public school. You would think it was
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| | trudge back through the woods to find my
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| standard issue for the DMV to hand out
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| | friends an older man on a big utility ATV
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| sets of keys after passing a driver's
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| | passed by. "Oh great, now I have to deal
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| test. I guess our state needed something
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| | with this guy giving me a hard time," I
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| to replace iroqs. It probably doesn't
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| | thought. But he pulled up, took off his
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| help the state's general attitude if
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| | helmet and asked if I needed a hand. Did
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| everyone is driving around in a BMW with
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| | my ears deceive me? A Jersian asking to
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| a gold chair hanging from their neck and
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| | help? Well of course I did. He had a
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| a ring hugging their pinky. Anyway,
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| | winch system hooked up to the front of
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| after years of hearing such comments from
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| | his bike. This guy and his son tossed me
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| wise guys like "What are you looking at?"
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| | the cable, which I hooked to my frame,
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| I started to think that the state was
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| | and he pulled me right out. When I
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| doomed. Maybe our country would be
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| | finally made it back to my friends, they
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| better if it cut off that little state
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| | didn't even know I was gone.
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| and sent it floating off across the
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