Viewing American Politics From The Perspective Of Martians

I'm being silly, but indulge me here as I veer off into. . . At least Bill Clinton had the sense to make sure
the realm of fantasy. Not *that* kind of fantasy, butthe woman was over the age of consent. Other
the world from a Martian's perspective. Say we'renoteworthy enemies include. . . Closeted
explorers from Mars sent to Washington D.C., inhomosexuality. This has turned out to plague a
human form, in the year 2007. What would be ournumber of people lately. There's Larry Craig and the
conclusions about American politics were we to comefoot tapping incident ("misunderstanding"). And
down fresh, understanding very little of the politicalDemocratic Governor of New Jersey Jim McGreevey.
system? We would understand immediately thatAt least he's no longer in the closet. Extramarital
there are purported to be 'two sides' (the validity ofaffairs. The list is too long. And really, is this even an
which is up for debate), and the two sides areissue people care about anymore? Women who don't
represented by colors and animals--red or blue,want to be groped. (CA Gov. Terminator). There are
elephant or donkey. There are also a few fringeplenty of other enemies. Crack cocaine (Marion
sects, marginalized by the craziness of theirBarry), voter fraud, blah, blah, blah. Actually, voter
philosophies, who angrily disagree with both the redsfraud is only a problem for the big loser, not the fake
and the blues. So these are the two realistic options.winner. Blue, red, elephant, donkey, they seem to
Third or fourth candidates are not allowed towant to make all the laws and then break them. In
compete, really. They have "no chance of winning" orour research as Martian anthropologists, we'd have to
there's the fear that the third party will take votesconclude that some form of perversion or criminal
away from "real" candidates. So the red and the bluerecord is mandatory for political candidates. We'd also
appear to really dislike each other, but they're twohave to conclude that the non-politicians, the ones
sides of the same coin, always in line to keep out thewho vote (or don't vote), have such a short
fringe and so they have some common interests.attention span that really, it doesn't much matter. It's
Then things start to get good. . . They have an evenfootball season and there's a new season of "The
bigger common enemy: the media. The mediaBiggest Loser" and it's back to school time and the
supposedly reports the activities of both sides sokids need new backpacks. And before you know it,
they make more money from advertisers. 'Theit's the holidays again. Jumping into this little fantasy
Media' claims to be unbiased, but it isn't true. Theyworld sometimes gives us a fresh perspective. It's all
are loyal to whomever is in power and whomeverabout framing. Putting a new lens on life. Try it with
owns the media outlet. What's even more excitingyour life and your persuasion. See how it goes. Tell
for us explorers to discover is that there are evenothers about it, tell me about it on this blog. Create a
more enemies these two sides have. Prostitutes.discussion, invite your friends and colleagues to join
Most recently Louisiana Senator David Vitters whothe discussion here. Lord knows we need to step
gives an awful lot of lip service to abstinence onlyback from the craziness every once in a while and
sex ed, was identified by the DC madam and thetalk to each other intelligently about what we
Canal Street Madam as being a client. Under agedobserve.
boys. Uh oh. US Representative Mark Foley, crusaderKenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn the
against child abuse and exploitation, became childbusiness of affluent clients using persuasion. He runs
abuser and exploiter when it came to light that hepublic and private seminars and offers home study
had a bit of a taste for Congressional pages. Women.courses and coaching programs in persuasion
Specifically wanton women. There was this one time,techniques.
the woman was wearing a blue dress. He liked cigars.