| I'm being silly, but indulge me here as I | | | | Clinton had the sense to make sure the woman |
| veer off into the realm of fantasy. Not | | | | was over the age of consent. Other noteworthy |
| *that* kind of fantasy, but the world from a | | | | enemies include. . . Closeted homosexuality. |
| Martian's perspective. Say we're explorers | | | | This has turned out to plague a number of |
| from Mars sent to Washington D.C., in human | | | | people lately. There's Larry Craig and the |
| form, in the year 2007. What would be our | | | | foot tapping incident ("misunderstanding"). |
| conclusions about American politics were we | | | | And Democratic Governor of New Jersey Jim |
| to come down fresh, understanding very little | | | | McGreevey. At least he's no longer in the |
| of the political system? We would understand | | | | closet. Extramarital affairs. The list is too |
| immediately that there are purported to be | | | | long. And really, is this even an issue |
| 'two sides' (the validity of which is up for | | | | people care about anymore? Women who don't |
| debate), and the two sides are represented by | | | | want to be groped. (CA Gov. Terminator). |
| colors and animals--red or blue, elephant or | | | | There are plenty of other enemies. Crack |
| donkey. There are also a few fringe sects, | | | | cocaine (Marion Barry), voter fraud, blah, |
| marginalized by the craziness of their | | | | blah, blah. Actually, voter fraud is only a |
| philosophies, who angrily disagree with both | | | | problem for the big loser, not the fake |
| the reds and the blues. So these are the two | | | | winner. Blue, red, elephant, donkey, they |
| realistic options. Third or fourth candidates | | | | seem to want to make all the laws and then |
| are not allowed to compete, really. They have | | | | break them. In our research as Martian |
| "no chance of winning" or there's the fear | | | | anthropologists, we'd have to conclude that |
| that the third party will take votes away | | | | some form of perversion or criminal record is |
| from "real" candidates. So the red and the | | | | mandatory for political candidates. We'd also |
| blue appear to really dislike each other, but | | | | have to conclude that the non-politicians, |
| they're two sides of the same coin, always in | | | | the ones who vote (or don't vote), have such |
| line to keep out the fringe and so they have | | | | a short attention span that really, it |
| some common interests. Then things start to | | | | doesn't much matter. It's football season and |
| get good. . . They have an even bigger common | | | | there's a new season of "The Biggest Loser" |
| enemy: the media. The media supposedly | | | | and it's back to school time and the kids |
| reports the activities of both sides so they | | | | need new backpacks. And before you know it, |
| make more money from advertisers. 'The Media' | | | | it's the holidays again. Jumping into this |
| claims to be unbiased, but it isn't true. | | | | little fantasy world sometimes gives us a |
| They are loyal to whomever is in power and | | | | fresh perspective. It's all about framing. |
| whomever owns the media outlet. What's even | | | | Putting a new lens on life. Try it with your |
| more exciting for us explorers to discover is | | | | life and your persuasion. See how it goes. |
| that there are even more enemies these two | | | | Tell others about it, tell me about it on |
| sides have. Prostitutes. Most recently | | | | this blog. Create a discussion, invite your |
| Louisiana Senator David Vitters who gives an | | | | friends and colleagues to join the discussion |
| awful lot of lip service to abstinence only | | | | here. Lord knows we need to step back from |
| sex ed, was identified by the DC madam and | | | | the craziness every once in a while and talk |
| the Canal Street Madam as being a client. | | | | to each other intelligently about what we |
| Under aged boys. Uh oh. US Representative | | | | observe. |
| Mark Foley, crusader against child abuse and | | | | |
| exploitation, became child abuser and | | | | Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn |
| exploiter when it came to light that he had a | | | | the business of affluent clients using |
| bit of a taste for Congressional pages. | | | | persuasion. He runs public and private |
| Women. Specifically wanton women. There was | | | | seminars and offers home study courses and |
| this one time, the woman was wearing a blue | | | | coaching programs in persuasion techniques. |
| dress. He liked cigars. . . . At least Bill | | | | |